Chasing Dreams

When I woke from that dream, I felt so high.  It was ecstasy.  It was bliss.  It was paradise.  I have not felt that way in years, and I have been chasing the feeling ever since.  Already I can hardly remember it.  It was just two days ago.  I had put her out of my mind and I know it was for the best.  But she came back to me.  And ever since I have thrown myself into her.  I surrounded myself with the music that reminded me of her.  I studied my dreams of her.  I searched desperately for a way to feel as I did, as I did so many years ago.  Those days were troubled days, stressful, painful... and beautiful, full of life.  But I can hardly feel it now.  I get glimpses of it, these songs, these stories, these dreams, remind me of those days.  I bury myself in it.  That dream brought me so high, and these things are my drugs.  I want to feel it again; but it will never be the same.  I have laid down my head each night, hoping desperately to see her face again.  But I am forsaken.  I have gone numb.  I am grey.