Eternal Dance

I hate this cruel game. I hate this evil dance. I hate this unstable balance. Do you like me or don't you? Do I have you or do I not? Can we stay together? Are we friends? Can we talk to each other? Are we close? Are we too different or have you accepted me? Am I a nobody or do you see me worthy? So often we seem so apart and I feel like there's no hope. I tell myself it's probly better and I chain up my emotions and put out the fire of my desires. But the embers smolder still. And then, without warning, we joke and play as friends do and the embers ignite and my desire for you burns hotter than before and my feelings break free of their prison. My hope is revived and my insanity returns, but only to yet again be replaced by loneliness and despair. I hate this unstable balance, leaning towards success, giving me hope or falling to my failure and the end of this fight, yet returning, inexorably, to uncertainty. I hate this evil dance, this moving back and forth of this relationship between friends and aquaintances, confusing and unceasing. I hate this cruel game, where I can never win, yet fate sees fit to toy with me, never giving the fatal blow. This struggle with my Dark Angel gives me at the same time, the deepest feelings of joy, and the sharpest feelings of despair. But I cannot give up. I will endure this eternal dance for as long as I must for my hope is enduring.